“Don’t speak,” “Stop Talking,” “You’re not an expert,” “Shut up,” “You’re annoying.” These are all words I’ve been told on a regular basis. Not just from my ex-husband, but by others I thought cared for me as well (mind you, noone in my family).
Ive been seeing my therapist since the beginning of summer, and he asked me, “what are you most afraid of?” I thought for a moment- the response I wanted say, “nothing at all, thank you very much,” -on the tip of my tongue.
But that wouldn’t be true. “I’m afraid of having no voice. Of not being heard, or taken seriously. I’m afraid my voice will grate on people. That it annoys them.”
I’ve had a few quiet months to contemplate that question. And I realize how true it is. I’m always willing and excited to lend my voice for a cause, but when it comes to speaking my own truth, I often back down. Especially when I believe the cause to be greater than myself. I’m willing to sacrifice my voice for what I believe to be the greater good. Even to the point of sickness and unhealth.
Can anyone else relate?!
But God is always working in my life to challenge those lies I’ve been told. The truth is, I matter. My story matters. My god-given voice and longing and calling all matter. And they shouldn’t be silenced. Because people need us. Our voice is crucial for not just my ability to thrive in the world but for others to do the same. Who we were meant to be at our core is critical for connection.
At our core...
Who we were meant to be at our core is critical for connection.
Your voice matters too, no matter how people may try to stifle it.
So, I’m starting a little project. It’s been forced on my in ways I would never have predicted. And while I’m reluctant, I must acknowledge that these past few months writing and reflecting and rebuilding, have made me feel both more alive and home than I have in years!
I’m not sure how all this will turn out or even where it will go, but I'd be delighted to have you follow along. And maybe we will both experience renewal in ways we'd have never expected.
Image via @ScottthePainter on IG.